I was talking to my friend Lina today, who said that sometimes the two edges of life are boredom and overwhelming(edness). This is definitely a description of my life right now: A summer spent in boredom is turning into a fall of overwhelming(edness).
This summer, I learned the origin of the phrase "mountain of paperwork." Contrary to popular belief, this is NOT a figure of speech. It is a literal description of a stack of home alarm contracts that Pinnacle employees find on their desktops every morning. Monday through Friday, my coworkers and I would come into the office, greet each of our 3-feet-tall stacks (okay, they are more like bumps), and "climb" our way to the bottoms of the stacks. No wonder they call the company Pinnacle.
But this coming Monday, I start work as a grad student instructor at BYU. The stacks of papers will be much smaller, but far more engaging (I can dream, can't I?). I have been looking forward to this all summer--waiting and waiting and waiting--, but now I am not as excited. I feel like that bull behind the gate that gets so tired of waiting that it sluggishly slumps to the ground. And on top of that, I realize that I won't just be teaching. I will be a student again...Homework, tests, and lectures. Kill. Me. Now.
All I want to do is teach. Is it so wrong to start a two-year program with this attitude? Don't answer that.
"I felt instantly that for once it might be even more pleasant to entertain an audience than to be one of the crowd and bored." --HM Tomlinson, "Binding A Spell"
Sing it, HM-y.
The face of fake excitement
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first of all, i really, really love your jacket! secondly(?), what program is it? i'm starting grad school too, but at lewis & clark and i'm a strange mix of excited and terrified. good luck!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Brittany. I am in the English MA program. What are you studying at L&C?
ReplyDeleteEducation, with endorsements (emphasis) in literacy and esl.
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ReplyDeleteIt is not so wrong! All I want to do is teach too! At least now we can confide in one another so that Prof. Hickman will never, ever find out the secret that we don't want to be stuck in the tar-pits of academia for the rest of our lives! :)
ReplyDelete*I deleted my first comment because there was a typo. Just in case you were wondering.*
That is my life on a daily basis...slightly bored while Taylor naps, only to find myself overwhelmed when she wakes up and simultaneously needs a diaper change, a snack, to be held, played with, and monitored...all while I attempt to do laundry (without her unfolding it), make dinner (without burning her when she tries to "help"), and do dishes (while keeping an eye on her so the house doesn't get completely destroyed). Gotta love opposition in all things, huh?
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