Sunday, July 31, 2011

I have no response to that.

Kids really do say the darndest things. But so do my 18-year-old freshmen:

Mary-Lou: "How can I avoid using the word 'boobs' in my paper so often?"
Me: "Well, you might consider using 'breast' instead."

Tania: "I need you to treat me like a kindergartener."
Me: "Okay. Stop braiding Mary-Lou's hair."

Gertrude: "I am getting a colonoscopy on Monday."
Me: "Thanks for letting me know..."

Marcus: "Well, you might know about transitions, but I've seen a double rainbow."
Me: "Those actually exist?"
Marcus: "I will testify of it."

Jeff: "What's the difference between the wealthiest and the 43rd wealthiest person in America?"
Me: "42 people."

Teresa: "I like Elizabethan spelling and grammar better. Can I write 'thee' instead of 'you?'"
Me: "No, thou shalt not be permitted to write in such outdated fashion."

Me: "Give yourself a reading score on a scale of 0 to 5."
Greg: "5. Or 12. Whichever."
Shannon: "6."
Albert: ""
Stephanie: ""

Sometimes I wonder if my students all get together and plan on taking turns saying absurd things in class. What I should really be asking myself is, "What am I doing that makes them feel comfortable saying these things out loud?"